What is the Window of Tolerance
The window of tolerance was originally described by Dr. Daniel Siegel as the optimal zone of arousal in which a person is able to function and deal with day-to-day stress most effectively.
For most people dealing with the demands and stress of everyday life without much difficulty. However, if you have experienced trauma or anxiety, it can be difficult to stay in your optimal zone. It’s helpful to understand the difference between the ‘large window of tolerance’ versus a ‘small window of tolerance’.
When you are coping well with the ups and downs of life—your thoughts are rational and you experience calm in response to daily stress—you are said to be functioning within the ‘window of tolerance’. Signs of a large window of tolerance are 1) you can regulate your emotions, 2) you think before you respond, 3) you feel stress but can manage it, 4) ability to live in the moment, 5) you feel motivated and focused. Having a large window of tolerance means you are able to feel stress without getting overwhelmed or shutting down emotionally.
To understand the signs of a small window of tolerance you may be 1) constantly on edge, 2) frequent angry outbursts, 3) easily overwhelmed, 4) chronic depression, 5) zoning out. However, for those that have experienced trauma in the past, you struggle to deal with stressful things in the present. Learning how to widen your window of tolerance teaches you how to be more in control of your own emotions.
I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that when we’re feeling overwhelmed (especially over a long period of time) our window of tolerance gets smaller and smaller.
It may feel like “little” fears get triggered much easier. Causing you to strike out, or you might want to check out. Begin with having an awareness…Here are some strategies to use to bring you back to your window of tolerance so you re-engage your prefrontal cortex and respond skillfully.
Check your thoughts by asking yourself, is this really true right now? It may have been true in the past, but is it true in this moment?
Bring yourself back to the present moment by breathing. Focus on the air moving in through the nose, through your chest deep into your belly. Breathing deep into the belly sends more messages to relax.
Take a self-soothing action: As your prefrontal cortex (brain) is offline, you will have to decide in advance, what actions can help settle you down. For example, going for a walk, spending time in nature, sitting on the beach, calling a friend or loved one, or having a cup of tea.
Many individuals are able to widen their window of tolerance. This increases their sense of calm and ability to deal with stress in more adaptive ways. However, if you are struggling with stress, painful memories and are overwhelmed in your daily life, you may need to consider finding a mental health professional in your area. With the help of a mental health professional, individuals are able to address the emotional pain, stress and begin the healing journey. Finding the right therapist is key for you to reach your goals. Most therapists offer a free consultation for you to learn more about their specialities.
April Forella, LMHC, LPC is a EMDR certified therapist in private practice, specializing in working with anxious overachieving women to help them heal from past emotional wounds, and self-doubt. Contact me today for your complimentary consultation at (561) 818-6964 to discuss how I can help. For more information about my private practice services, click here.
